Examination of Conscience for Children

---

A child’s first confession should be gentle, simple, and free of fear. The point is not to make a small child feel guilty but to help them learn that God always forgives those who are sorry. This examination walks through the commandments in a child’s language — loving God, obeying parents, being kind, telling the truth — for use by children, parents, and catechists.

How to help a child examine their conscience

Sit somewhere quiet with your child and read the questions together, slowly. Explain that an examination of conscience just means thinking honestly about the times we did not love God or other people the way we should — and that being sorry is the whole point, because God is always ready to forgive. Keep it short. A child does not need a long list; a few honest answers are enough for a good first confession.

Questions a child can understand

Did I love God?

• Did I say my prayers in the morning and at night?
• Did I pay attention and behave at Mass on Sunday?
• Did I use God’s name or Jesus’ name in a bad or angry way?

Did I love my family?

• Did I obey my parents and the grown-ups who take care of me? (4th commandment)
• Was I kind to my brothers and sisters, or did I fight with them?
• Did I say thank you, or was I ungrateful to people who helped me? (CCC 2215)

Did I love other people?

• Was I mean, or did I hurt someone with my hands or my words?
• Did I leave anyone out on purpose, or make fun of them?
• Did I forgive someone who was mean to me, or stay angry?

Was I honest and good?

• Did I tell a lie, or cheat? (8th commandment)
• Did I take something that was not mine? (7th commandment)
• Did I do my chores and my schoolwork, or was I lazy when I should have helped?

A note for parents and catechists

Children are normally admitted to the sacrament of Reconciliation when they reach the age of reason, around seven years old, and the Church asks that First Confession come before First Holy Communion. At this age a child’s sins are almost always venial — small unkindnesses, disobedience, little lies. Resist the urge to make the examination heavier than the child’s conscience actually is. The goal of a first confession is not a thorough moral audit; it is to give a child a warm, trusting first experience of God’s mercy that they will want to return to. Reassure them that the priest is kind, that he is happy they came, and that he can never tell anyone what they say. For the words of the rite itself, see what to say in confession.

Frequently asked

At what age do children make their first confession?

Normally around age seven — the 'age of reason' — and the Church asks that a child's First Confession take place before they receive First Holy Communion. Practice varies slightly by parish, but the order (confession before Communion) is the Church's norm.

How do I prepare my child for first confession?

Keep it simple and warm. Walk through a short, age-appropriate examination like the one above, explain that being sorry is the whole point, and reassure them that the priest is kind and can never repeat what they say. Practice the basic words of the rite together so the moment feels familiar rather than frightening.

What sins does a child confess?

Almost always small, venial things: disobeying parents, fighting with siblings, little lies, unkindness, not paying attention at Mass. A child does not need to produce a long or serious list — a few honest examples are exactly right for a good first confession.

Will the priest be gentle with my child?

Yes. Priests are experienced with first confessions and are gentle and encouraging with children. He will help your child through it, and the seal of confession means he can never tell anyone — including you — what was said.

Continue: What to say in confession · Examination for teens · The Act of Contrition